I'm going slightly crazy right now, and I apologize but I just need to get it out of my head. I'm trying really hard to be nice to myself, but it's so hard. I'm so mad at me right now. I'm so frustrated and it's all my fault. I'm a complete idiot. And I know this will come out as an over-reaction, but I don't think I should ever have kids. There are multiple reasons for it, but I'll just focus on the trigger right now.
I'm such an idiot, why do I care so much about being helpful to others. I know I shouldn't, everyone knew I shouldn't, but I'm an idiot. Why can't I see it? Why do I get so stubborn and ignore all reason for the sake of trying to be worth it? God, I hate myself right now.
I now have this damn kitten that I desperately need to get rid of. I tried to be helpful. I just made myself an inconvenience. I know they're talking about me, I know they think I'm completely stupid. Why did I have to inconvenience them?
I took it in because someone needed help and I just wanted to be helpful, but of course I'm unable to sense the reality of a situation. I was only supposed to have it for a week and then my friend backed out, and there was someone who wanted to adopt it, but I haven't heard back. It's just been a hell of a week.
I feel bad for the poor thing because our dogs refuse to get along with it and it has to stay in a crate most of the day. I unable to care for it like it deserves, and it seems this terrible week has suddenly caught up with me and I'm left feeling extremely frustrated.
So, I'm very sorry that my poor siblings are stuck with this kitten. It was rude and inconsiderate of me to stress them out. And I'm sorry to my dad, who's advice I refused to listen to because I have a compulsion to be helpful. Dammit self, get your shit together and remember to always sleep on it first.
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