One of the hardest things about being a girl is the constant attention payed to your body. I'm not just talking about other people, in fact I'd have to say that it's my own constant thoughts that cause the most damage. Almost every hour my mind turns to how I look. Did I gain weight, why isn't my stomach perfectly flat, my thighs look fat, does it look like I have a double-chin. Now, if you know me in real life, you'd probably laugh. I'm petite. Not super thin or willowy, but I'm not even slightly overweight.
I suppose I could blame this on my mom, I did grow up hearing her call herself fat, or media messages about how woman should look, or a misogynistic culture where woman with wrinkles or grey hair aren't beautiful and on men it becomes distinguished. However, today I really don't feel like blaming anyone.
I just feel sad. I'm sad that I spend so much of my time obsessing over how I look and basing my value on something so superficial. Why can't I value myself for my intelligence or kindness? Why does the way I look matter so much? Why do I stress myself over something that I don't really care about?
Granted, I probably should start exercising more for my health, I know being stationary all the time is less than beneficial. Not to mention exercise is as good for mental health as for physical. I just feel as if lately my mind has been dominated by feelings of inadequacy in terms of my physical appearance. It's very tiring to spend so much time disliking parts of yourself or obsessing.
