I like to classify things in an attempt to make sense of them and I like to label myself so I know who I am. It's an overly simplified way of thinking and I don't always stick to it, but it's how I like to start working through things.
You know on your first day of school, when the teacher asks all the students to tell the class something about themselves? Well, mine was always "I'm a writer" or "I'm an author" or something to that effect. Having written two books was a big source of pride for me, especially since I was (and still am) not all that confident in myself.
I stopped writing novels over two years ago. I didn't have a clear choice of what to write next and then I wound up sick. I haven't written any fiction after I graduated, since I usually wrote when a class bored me.
Not having a clear idea of what to write, frustrates me. Not having written in such a long time, frustrates me. But it scares me to think that I may never write again, that I suddenly don't need it. I can't remember what it felt like to have a great idea running through my head as I scribbled it down. I just feel frustrated.
I don't know how to start a story anymore. It's almost like I've forgotten how to write. I'm scared to lose one of my self-proclaimed titles, because I just might not be an author any more. I know I'm over-thinking it, that just jumping in and struggling to piece words together on a daily basis will help me to remember, but let me steam in my worry and frustrations until I can force myself sit down in my spare time.
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