Stability!

I've been feeling surprisingly stable these past few days, and all the noise in my head has quieted down to a manageable level. There's still some chaos, but I don't feel on the edge...at least for right now. I haven't been feeling the greatest physically, which could explain why I'm doing well mentally. I can't recall exactly what my dad said but it falls along the lines of when something's going wrong, our mind goes calm and focuses in on trying to fix that one aspect. At least, that's what I got out of that conversation. :P

Either way, I welcome peace with open arms! It took long enough for my mind to get to this point and honestly, I feel like I can tolerate the physical pain better for the time being. Give me a couple more days and I'll start whining about that too. ;)

Sleep still hasn't been the greatest, but I've been getting more. I can't seem to sleep more than 8 hours though, and an uninterrupted sleep is still unattainable. School is still the very last place I want to be, even the thought gives me stress, and I still can't get myself to read any of the books from English. They're too depressing for me and so I've been reading nothing but fluff for the past few weeks in an attempt to keep my brain from exploding. Too many opinions and debates for a girl that needs to think everything through and doesn't like to choose one side.

My appetite is on and off. Today I had two lunches, but yesterday my portions of food were fairly small. I still fear losing too much weight and I'm hoping that I can gain some when I visit my relatives for Christmas. Luckily, both my grandmas are excellent chefs and I doubt that I will ever have an empty stomach while visiting them.

I have been keeping to myself a bit, and like to spend most of my time in the basement (which is usual for me), but I have no deserve to talk things through with people anymore. Like I said in an earlier post, now I just want something to be done and talking about it isn't helping. So, I've also tried not to have that many 'deep' conversations with my dad about how to handle my mind's craziness, partially because I don't want to talk anymore and I'm finding myself disagreeing with a lot of what he says. Although, I know I may have to agree with him in the future when all this is sorted out. Stupid smart side of my brain. Quit it! Just say he's wrong!

Anyway, I think that's about it. Nothing much has been going on and no more 'big' debates on politics, religion or human behaviour, which has been appreciated!