Chores and Nagging

I'm going to attempt to write this post without saying that all parents suck and teenagers should be able to do anything they want. We'll see if I'll be successful or not, but that's my goal.

I've discovered that I get a lot more satisfaction out of things that I complete when I want to and without the help of parents informing me that something needs to be cleaned up. Granted, I am horrible at cleaning and occasionally I due deserve a kick in the pants, but I feel a lot happier if I come up with the idea to clean up by myself and accomplish it without the nagging support that most parents are eager to give.

I am a basement dweller. It's not that I particularly like to be underground, it's just the area with less traffic and people that might want me to do something or like to lecture me on how I am screwing up my life. Lectures, if repeated more than 10 times, are very ineffective and most of the time I'll tune out and pretend that every time we go out of the house as a family I do not get lectured. In fact, lectures will automatically make me aggressive and prone to having freak outs or arguments. Just as vacuum cleaners, alarm clocks, paper shredders and my mother yelling at me to clean up do. Those are the moments when I grit my teeth, try my best to hold my tongue and not say something that would cause things to escalate, and pop some earbuds in my ears to drown out annoyances.

Positive comments are more effective than negative (Hint: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar). So rather than force me to do something, attempt to give me more free reign while still suggesting a complete a task. For example, "Clean up now!" will cause me to get angry, but giving me a set 'due date' like "I'd like this cleaned up before supper" will make it easier for me to handle. Telling me anything in command form,  "You need to go back to school tomorrow" or "You need to get a job", is frustrating to me, but making small goals like "Try to be at school for at least 3 days next week" or "By the end of the week, you should have handed in at least two resumes" are less stressful for me and I'm more likely to do them.

I understand how I can be very frustrating. I understand how it can be hard not to order someone around when you need a task done. I'm aware of the fact that if I was in my parents situation, I probably would order my child around too. It's hard to break the mindset of ordering someone and transitioning to making small goals. I'm having a hard time doing this myself. I'm trying not to have bad self-talk, but to encourage myself and it's incredibly hard.

Nagging causes me more stress than you could imagine. It is one thing to bring up a particular topic, like "this room needs to be cleaned up" or "a job would allow you to have some extra spending cash", but when that topic is continually forced upon me I grow frustrated and angry. It makes me less likely to do it, because I want that satisfaction I get from accomplishing it when I want. Ask me once, set a goal and let me take care of it. If I don't, then you have full reign to stress me out and take away any of the privileges you deem to be fair punishment.

Today, the basement (where I dwell) was a mess because of me. When I was up this morning, I noticed that and made a mental note to clean up. All is well. Then my dearest father comes down and tells me to clean it up. The stress level rises. I get more frustrated because I already had the idea to clean it up and now he's ordering me to do it, robbing the satisfaction of being able to say "I did it all by myself without anyone asking me to". He didn't know that I already had the thought, so really I can't blame him for that. However, then he comes down every hour and tells me to clean it up. More importantly, he interrupts my de-stressing time (usually when I'm in my room listening to music) to tell me. Stress level grows even higher. In my mind, I'm refusing to clean up right after he asks me to because he's robbed that good feeling of doing something by myself again. I want to do it when I want to. Then he finally snaps and orders me to do it right away. The stress level has hit critical levels and my main job is trying not to start an argument that would probably result with me getting even angrier.

I finished said task when he ordered me to that time, to avoid another lecture. I was not happy and I do not feel like I've accomplished anything. In fact, I feel as if I've just cleaned up and he'll come down stairs to point out something I missed. That will be the level where my head will pop off and I will inwardly kill myself. (Note: here he comes, tell him to go away!!!!!) (Now he's ordering me to go on a drive with him, and to stop blogging until later. Go away!)  (He's gone)

So, in conclusion I'm a little bit psycho. I have issues with people ordering me around and my dad likes to both lecture and order me around. Somedays I can take it better, today I am in a crappy mood. Now, I will stop blogging and go on a drive with him (Code word for: "Let's talk and grab some coffee"), just to see what he has to say and maybe get a snack out of it.